


The Date We Never Had

by WinchestersWizard



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Feels, M/M, Marauders' Era, Not a Happy Story, OTP Feels, Underage Drinking, canon character death, takes place after 5th book, the marauders are dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 19:54:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3741604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchestersWizard/pseuds/WinchestersWizard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story takes place after Order of the Pheonix, but has flashbacks to marauders era and certain periods in the Marauders lives. It's really sad. The story is basically Remus' and Sirius' entire realationship throughout their lives. If you ship wolfstar as hardcore as I do, you'll cry. I'm basically a terrible person for writing this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Date We Never Had

        During the middle of the night there was always a part of Remus that would wonder what would have happened if Lily and James hadn’t trusted Peter. What their lives would have been like if Voldemort hadn’t murdered his friends. He lies awake wondering what would have happened if Peter had never betrayed them. What if Sirius never went to Azkaban? What if Sirius hadn’t been killed that night? Would he have ever gotten the courage to tell Sirius how he felt? The truth was Remus loved Sirius. He still loved him. He always had.

    Remus has loved Sirius since their third year. He’s loved Sirius ever since his friends found about his dirty little secret. OK so maybe it was more of a friendship kind of love that he shared with all of his best friends. But it was love all the same. Back then the four were pretty good friends but they really weren’t very close. They pulled pranks together and had fun, but Remus didn’t trust them. He couldn’t trust anyone. That didn’t mean Remus disliked his companions. Remus liked his Gryffindor friends, but he had to lie to them constantly. He just couldn’t bear getting close to anyone. Remus never wanted James, Peter, and Sirius to ever find out about his “furry little problem”, but he knew that they weren’t stupid. He knew that eventually they would figure out that his grandma didn’t get sick every month. Eventually they would figure out he was lying. But he was so scared that they would hate him. Remus finally had people that he could talk to, he thought that if they found out it would ruin everything and he’d be alone again. But instead of calling him a monster, laughing, or running away, they all said it was okay. They said he was their friend and they loved him werewolf or not. They loved him. For the first time in his entire life, Remus had friends. He had people that were loyal. He had friends who would visit him in the hospital wing after a full moon and friends that would stick up for him no matter what. He finally had people that loved him as much as he loved them.

      Remus loved his friends. He finally had a place where it felt like he belonged. Remus adored his friendship with his fellow Marauders. He even loved the pranks that he pulled with them no matter if they went as plan or not. He didn’t mind the countless detentions that they received for their exploits or the fact that he’d probably never be able to study in peace ever again. As much as Remus appreciated his friends and all that they did for him he always underestimated how far his friends would go for him. At least he did, until the night in the Marauders fifth year that changed everything. It was a normal night. The full moon was only a week away and Remus wasn’t looking forward to it at all. He hated the full moon. He hated how the transformation broke him and how the wolf tore him apart. He hated the feeling of being alone. Sure Remus had his friends in the Hospital Wing, but it was during the night when he felt the pain of his bones breaking and his flesh being torn. No one could be with him in that moment. Not only was it highly illegal but Remus could kill someone or worse turn them. His friends knew this but that didn’t stop them from trying to find a way to be with Remus during the full moon. They figured out during their fourth year that werewolves didn’t attack animals. Obviously there was the problem of them not being animals, but they figured that out during transfiguration. Becoming an animangus was illegal especially at only 15. When Remus found out he wanted to sock them all upside the head, but he didn’t. God it made him want to cry the fact that they had done that. It was so stupid, but Remus was selfish. He had always been selfish and them being animangi let them be near him during the change. It meant that he wasn’t alone any more.  
      So full moons were filled with running in the Forbidden Forest and friendship. Everything had been perfect. Until, Sirius told Snape to meet them at the Whomping Willow. Sirius had messed it all up when he revealed the secret to Snape. Snape had always been jealous of the Marauders. He had always been suspicious. He looked for every possible reason for them to all be expelled. The four boys knew that Snape had been watching them and studying their every move. Remus was worried that Snape would catch on to his secret. Snape wasn’t stupid; sooner or later he would realize what was going on, why Remus was sick every month around the full moon. He would ask questions. He would raise a fuss. Each Marauder was worried. Snape could be unpredictable. So what had Sirius been thinking when he told Snape how to get in the Shrieking Shack on the night of a full moon. Remus hated to think of what might have happened if James hadn’t saved Snape. He didn’t talk to Sirius for 3 weeks after the incident. He wasn’t even listening to Sirius. Sirius had said that he thought it would be a funny prank. He had apologized a million times, but Remus couldn’t stand the sight of his friend. He eventually started talking to Sirius again, but it was short jaded and not friendly. Sirius had started to lose it after a while. All of his friends hated him and he felt terrible. A simple apology would never be enough for what he had done. Sirius decided to try and redeem himself. He swore to never pull another prank again for as long as lived he, and said that he would quit quidditch. Sirius even said that he would apologize to Snape. He was begging Remus to give him another chance. Remus forgave Sirius, but told him he was on probation. He had to be on his best behavior. It took a while for things between the marauders to get better but eventually the four were best friends again.  
      Remus was able to forgive what Sirius had done, and Sirius was able to redeem himself. The Marauders went back to pulling pranks and causing mischief. Remus had earned the position as a prefect in sixth year. Which was a surprise do him being a part of the group who caused the most trouble and who constantly broke the rules, but then again Remus had always been the most responsible of the Marauders. Something else big happened in Remus’ sixth year at Hogwarts, he realized that he was in love with Sirius. It wasn’t a normal love like you would love your best friend. Remus loved Sirius like LOVED him in a non-platonic way. This realization scared Remus. Sirius wasn’t even gay. Remus himself was gay. He had never been into girls, but Sirius was a total ladies’ man. Remus knew that Sirius would never return his feelings. He had accepted that it wasn’t meant to be but Remus was wrong. It had happened after a big quidditch game. Gryffindor had just won a game against Slytherin and everyone was celebrating in the Gryffindor common room. Someone was able to sneak in some firewhiskey, heaven knows how. Sirius was very drunk. He was stumbling around the common room. He stumbled into Remus who was sitting in a chair by himself. Remus didn’t really care for parties. Sirius asked Remus if he wanted to dance. Remus asked him why he didn’t go find a pretty girl to dance with. Sirius got a very confused look on his face and told Remus that he didn’t want some stupid girl he wanted his Moony. Sirius then proceeded to land a big sloppy wet kiss on Remus’ mouth. Remus was shocked. He pushed Sirius off of him. Sirius passed out drunk. Remus helped James take Sirius up to their room and put him to bed. When Sirius woke up the next morning he was extremely hung over. It was Saturday so there weren’t any classes. Sirius avoided Remus all day. Finally Remus was able to corner him in the hall. Sirius immediately started to apologize. He said he didn’t mean any of it and that he was just drunk. This of course upset Remus and he told Sirius that he was disappointed. The next thing that happened had Sirius up against the wall and Remus’ tongue in his mouth. Sirius of course was very eager to kiss back.  
      Remus and Sirius dated all through their sixth and seventh years of school. James of course had started dating Lily. When the Marauders graduated from Hogwarts the war was going strong. James and Sirius were selected to be Aurors and work with Dumbledore in the Order of the Phoenix. While Remus was also a member of order, he couldn’t get any other job because he was a werewolf. It was alright though, he lived with Sirius. They had a nice apartment, but there was tension. Remus hated that he didn’t have a job. He felt like he wasn’t contributing at all. Remus felt guilty, no matter how many time Sirius had assured him that it was ok. So, when Dumbledore gave him the opportunity to do something for the benefit of the war of course he agreed. He didn’t think Sirius would mind. Sirius minded. He was furious, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Remus was going on this mission. So, Sirius and him took a break from their relationship, and Remus went on a mission. While Remus was out trying to get werewolves on their side of the war, James, Lily, and their baby Harry were being hunted by Voldemort. While he was off on his mission, two of his friends died, one of his friends betrayed them, and the other was in Azkaban. But Remus didn’t know that Sirius didn’t do it not yet.  
      When Remus found out that James and Lily were dead he didn’t believe it. When they said that Sirius was the one who did it, he couldn’t bear it. He hated Sirius. It wasn’t until he became a teacher at Hogwarts that year that he finally learned the truth. Remus got one of his friends back. He got the man that he loved back. But after he escaped from Azkaban, Sirius was broken. The twelve years in that place had killed all the light in the man that Remus once knew. Sirius was too broken and not ready for love. It had been twelve years after all. And then they were on the run and Sirius’ only thoughts were surviving and Harry. Harry had become a beckon of light for Sirius, Remus knew it. It gave Sirius something to hold on to. There was also a war going on. During a war isn’t the best time to rekindle a romance. Plus Remus was just so scared. What if Sirius rejected him? What if he told him that he stopped loving him years ago? Remus just didn’t have the courage. But one day he was talking to Tonks and she said that he should just do it. She told him to stop being so afraid. She said that Remus needed to have more confidence. Tonks was certain that Sirius still loved Remus. So, Remus finally got up the nerve. So, maybe Tonks had to physically push him to Sirius’ room but still. Remus knocked on the door with a shaking hand. When Sirius opened the door and saw it was Remus he smiled wide. Remus suddenly became so nervous that he blurted out something that sounded like: soIstill reallyloveyou andIwaswondering ifyoustillloveme andifyoumaybewant togoonadate. Sirius laughed heartily and told Remus that he was wondering when he would ask.  
     So, they had set up a date for the next weekend. They were going to a muggle rock music café. They would have gone to a rock music cafe if Bellatrix hadn’t killed Sirius that night in the Department of Mysteries only two nights before the day of the date.  
     Now Remus was alone. Remus could think and wonder until it made his brain ache. It didn’t matter now. James and Lily are dead and now Sirius is gone too. Remus has lost the best friends he has ever had. They were his family and now their dead. He never even got to tell Sirius how much he loved him. He never told him that after all this time, he loved Sirius still. They never had that date.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic I've put out so give me feeback and tell me if you like it! :)


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